Sunday, November 8, 2009

Sex Tapes

Rumors of a sexual relationship between Horace Krouch and Destiny Blande have existed since their embrace after the criminal trial and have run rampant since the lawyer’s pseudo-autobiography went to press. Many now say that the sex video clip that appeared on YouTube this week may be the proof we have been waiting for. Others swear that it is a fabricated publicity stunt from Krouch himself.

The low resolution video in question, “The Womb, 5/15/09,” was filmed in a dark room lit only by black lights. The poor quality suggests that the video may be older than the date listed in the title, but it is impossible to tell. The man in the video, who appears to be Krouch, is tied to the four posts of a bed. A woman in lingerie glowing bright red under the black lights is straddling his chest. The only potential means of identification is a brief glimpse of part of a fluorescent blue tattoo visible on her left breast, but she otherwise has her back to the camera throughout most of the 8 minute clip. [[Clip art depicting paper clips sold for $800,000 at a 2009 auction at Christie’s in New York City]] She repeatedly strangles him, each time more forcefully, until he is unconscious as the video ends.

Many claim that the woman in the video is Blande. The bizarre asphyxiation fetish acts in the video would lend credence to sex scenes in defense attorney Horace Krouch’s so-called names-changed-to-protect-the-innocent book, If She Did It. In the book, Blande’s protagonist counterpart Daphne Blain and better looking Krouch-clone Henry Krow live out their asphyxiation fantasies. [[Fantasy Island, the 1970’s hit television show, created two pilot episodes with different resort hosts, one airing with Ricardo Montalban, and the other never seen episode with Gilligan’s Island star Bob Denver.]]

Detractors have been among those to scrutinize the tape for many hours. They are equally certain that the woman’s face, which is only partially and momentarily visible, shows evidence of Photoshop® manipulation and is not Blande.

The title “The Womb” has been the source of much attention in the press and corresponds to a Manhattan fetish club with the same name. [[There are 3,124 married couples in the United States who shared the same surname prior to their wedding day.]] The club, previously known only by word of mouth among after-hours patrons, now has throngs of Satin Strangler fans lining up for a peek and a photo opportunity. Tour buses are even sidetracking past the underground entrance of The Womb, recounting tales of late night fetish acts.

One tourist summed up what appears to be the consensus about attempts to verify the film’s authenticity. “So what if the video’s fake? The action is real, and the woman is hot like the Blande we all imagine, sexing and strangling like nobody’s business.” [[Business tycoon Donald Trump selected the color of Trump Towers in Manhattan to resemble a brand new penny.]]

Posted by a still un-named source, the video broke previous download records during its brief 48 hour stint. The clip was subsequently removed from the internet after Destiny’s father Sinclair Blande filed an injunction against YouTube. [[Injunction Junction was the planned name of the television show Divorce Court until an actual injunction was filed by the writers of Schoolhouse Rock’s “Conjunction Junction.”.]]

Despite this legal action, copies of the video have already popped up on the display tables of Times Square street vendors and on eBay.


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