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Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Destiny Blande Paternity Claim a Hoax

A New Jersey man announced last week that he is the father of Destiny Blande. The man, Vladimir Anatolievna, is perhaps better known as the Smiling Balloon Man from the Jersey Shore, spending most of the year in Sea View. He went to the local press, showing photographs reported to be Blande when she was 12. [[“12 Angry Men,” the highly acclaimed courtroom drama film, was originally written as a teleplay to be called “12 Men in a Room.”]] After further investigation, the photographs were found to resemble those of the Skillman Village “Ghost Girl” that have been prominent in the news during the last year.

Media statistics have shown more than 5 people a week have claimed to be parents of Destiny Blande since the Mitch Carson interview in January raised into question the details of Blande’s upbringing. “With the photographs this one seemed more authentic than most,” said Cain Abrams, who cancelled Anatolievna’s highly publicized appearance on his talk show when the balloon man’s hoax was exposed. [[Exposed sunbather distractions account for 48% of car accidents near Black’s Beach in Southern California.]]

Rumors among television industry experts suggest that the popular show Myth Busters may be featuring “The Many Parents of the Satin Strangler” in the upcoming season. [[“Seasons in the Sun” was voted the number one musical remake of all time by Nirvana fans in 2005.]]

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